Harry Potter and the Great Accounting Adventure

Harry Potter was the center of seven novels, but he'll star in eight films. The final book in the wildly successful series will be made into two films, the Los Angeles Times reported Wednesday. Producers are expected to announce Thursday that J.K. Rowling's last "Potter" installment, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," will be split into two parts on the big screen. The first film is slated for release in November 2010, with part two following in May 2011. The two final "Potter" films will be shot concurrently, much like the blockbuster trilogy based on J.R.R. Tolkien's epic fantasy novel "The Lord of the Rings." "It was born out of purely creative reasons," producer David Heyman told the Times.

WP: That, and they received news from the accounting department that they could actually make TWICE as much money if they made two movies instead of just one.

What's wrong with today's SUPERHERO movies?

As a lover of comic books and its characters during my youth and young adulthood, I think it's embarrassing at times what has been produced -- or even suggested -- for the silver (or small) screen. Although I haven't really picked up a comic book for about 15 years now, I have about 15-20 years of reading/studying under my belt, 25-30 very long boxes of comics in protective storage bags, and a few years of working a comic book store, I have a great fondness for the characters and still remember each and every one of them.

To me, the best comics I read didn't involve fighting. They involved the characters, their personalities, their strengths, their flaws, and their interactions with their family, friends, comrades, and archenemies. One such story involves a suicide in a Wonder Woman comic book. I vividly remember the emotion that swept through me as I read it. THAT is the sign of a good story and the sign of a well-used character.

The obvious film mistakes are Superman III and IV, as well as Batman & Robin. Where were their plots? Did the writers even know anything about the characters about which they wrote? Had they ever even picked up a comic book? Even X-Men 3: The Last Stand felt rushed and unfocused. For someone who loved the Dark Phoenix storyline in the original Uncanny X-Men comics and looked forward to the movie with great anticipation, it was a huge letdown. There was NO character depth. Jean Grey/Phoenix/Dark Phoenix was little more than a passing annoyance. The relationship between she and Cyclops in the comics was…magic! And every comic fan wept when she sacrificed herself for the good of the Earth and universe. In the movie…not so much.

Although many won't agree, I think a great job was done with the movies for The Hulk, the first Fantastic Four (Jessica Alba looked plastic in the second), and Daredevil. They felt “real” and “authentic.” I was very pleased to see Marvel Comics branching out, so to speak, by using characters that weren't their main bread and butter. DC Comics, on the other hand, and my preference for comic books and characters, has failed to capitalize on the many, many great characters they own.

Beyond Superman and Batman, DC hasn’t done much. Yet they have so many great stories in their comic books from which they can borrow. In the 80s, the New Teen Titans had some fantastic storylines courtesy of writer Marv Wolfman and artist George Perez. The introduction of and subsequent death of Terra was ingenious. She was a good girl trapped in a bad girl's body. She wanted to do what was right, but being bad came so much easier for her. In the late 80s/early 90s, Mike Grell wrote some very gritty stories for the Green Arrow. Before his tenure, I had never been interested in the Green Arrow. Grell made him human and occasionally “wrote” stories that didn’t even have any dialogue. Yet it held my interest throughout. THAT is another sign of a good story.

DC Comics failed to get The Flash TV series running (hahaha…). Why? Poor storylines. I couldn’t even watch it, despite John Wesley Shipp (from Guiding Light, one of my favorite shows as a kid) being super hot in tights. They attempted again with Birds of Prey. A great choice. Lesser known characters…that were even female! Oooh… But still…it didn’t fly. Why? I don’t think the writers and producers invested as much into the characters, didn’t trust that their viewers were already familiar with them, and – basically—didn’t know much about their mythos themselves. Sad. And they’re the ones on strike right now? Unless they’re worthy of a strike, they ought to find other occupations so that real writers can step in and provide quality entertainment.

I’m hesitant about the upcoming Justice League of America movie. Naturally, I’ll go see it. Probably two or three times in the theater. However, I think DC Comics is overstepping its boundaries with throwing too many characters into the ring at once, especially overused characters like Superman and Batman. Baby steps, DC, baby steps.

Do we really need another Superman origin movie? Let’s jump right in and see what else he’s about! How about an evil little Mister Mxyzptlk? Or let's bring Darkseid and the New Gods into it. Or even a decent story that adds a respectable Supergirl? And while we’re on the subject, I’m a little worried about the newest Batman film. While Heath Ledger looks like an interestingly different maniacal Joker, do we really need another Batman film with the Joker in it? How many villains does Batman have in his Rogues Gallery? I can’t even count that high.

If the Joker is to be used again, let's use him for something new. How about a Batgirl movie where the Joker shoots and paralyzes her (as in the one-shot comic The Killing Joke), and she later becomes The Oracle? Let’s use some OTHER CHARACTERS and storylines from comic books past.

How about a Teen Titans movie when the Titans were The New Teen Titans and on top of their game like in the 80s? Robin/Nightwing, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Raven. And later, the mute Jericho. Robin had his identity crisis, was making the transition from "Boy Wonder" to adult superhero, and began a complicated relationship with the alien Starfire. Starfire had her own troubles, being a princess who ran away from her planet and whose evil sister was extremely jealous of her. Cyborg went through the mental anguish of dealing with his new mechanical body. Raven had no emotions and fought the demons within her. Beast Boy was a nutty character who ragged on Cyborg, but highly admired him, and dealt with his own adoption issues. Jericho was the son of a Teen Titans villain who lost his ability speak at the hand of one of his father's enemies as a kid. It wasn't so much about the crimefighting as it was about their personal issues. THOSE were characters. (And please ignore the infantile Teen Titans cartoon series on The Cartoon Network. That was just an embarrassment to the legacy of the Teen Titans.)

How about The Outsiders when they first came on the scene? Geo-Force, Katana, Halo, Black Lightning, Metamorpho, and – later – Looker, along with their team captain, Batman (not necessary for the movie, though!). They were a bunch of misfits who banded together and worked well as a team as they learned to trust and rely on one another. Who doesn't love a story like that? For proof, see the unending number of sports team movies that have been made.

How about Booster Gold? He was a wealthy, sexy, arrogant SOB, but a great superhero in his own right. Perhaps teaming Booster Gold and Blue Beetle together in a superhero comedy? Their friendship was cemented in Justice League International, a great comedic comic.

And, for Marvel, how about their Canadian group Alpha Flight and the outing of Northstar, the first major gay comic character?

Or a Power Pack movie that even the youngest of kids could enjoy? When the Power kid siblings first came on the comics scene in 1984, they had some amazing adventures that both kids and adults could relate to, especially when they dealt with issues such as sexual abuse, drug abuse, kidnapping, runaways, etc. That’s POWERful stuff!

My point…and I do have one…is: let’s get to making GREAT superhero movies. Older comic fans will love them for the sheer nostalgia, younger comic book fans will appreciate them for the adventures they may have missed, and non-comic book fans will love them for their inviting, interest-holding stories. And it just might help at increasing comic book sales in the process! Let’s be done with reinventing the wheel or trying to create “super” scripts like Superman vs. Batman. Focus on the little people. They have stories to tell, too. Look at what NBC did with Heroes.

Bridging the Gap

In a year in which most films dealing with conflicting world cultures have failed to excite moviegoers, the makers of "The Kite Runner" hope to win audiences by bridging the divide of race and ethnicity.

...by hiding the young actors from their own country...

Pssst! I think one of them named their teddy bear Mohammed!

Balls of Fury: the movie

Synopsis: A disgraced former ping pong champion is drawn back into the world of high-stakes underground table tennis to carry out a top-secret mission. Far removed from the rigidly regulated world of professional sports, clandestine ping pong tournaments offer thrilling competition where only the strong survive. There was a time when the mere mention of the name Randy Daytona was enough to make even those most hardened ping pong player cower in fear, but these days Randy has fallen out of favor with ping-pong fans. The former champ soon receives a much-needed shot at redemption, however, when he is recruited by a determined FBI agent named Rodriguez to win a coveted spot in the upcoming underground table tennis tournament and ferret out the nefarious Feng, whose thriving criminal empire has transformed him into a true menace to society.

For me, I would like to know exactly what the studio head was thinking when that pitch was made to him.

"It's like a Fight Club...for ping-pong players!" explained the writer.

"Yes...I LOVE IT!" shouted the executive. "I'm greenlighting that right away! Underground ping-pong tournaments? That's never been done before. It'll blow people's minds and they'll pay millions of dollars to see that. Go get it started! Here's $40 million to start. Oh, and be sure to hire one of the worst actors ever: Christopher Walken. Go to it! Hey...pass me another joint on your way out, will ya?"

I Am Legend (everywhere in Asia but China)

Will Smith's new sci-fi thriller, "I Am Legend," is hitting movie theaters across Asia later this month — but not in China. The delay in the film's approval comes amid a report that China has issued a temporary ban on American movies to boost the country's domestic film industry — a move the country's regulator has denied.

And..."there's not enough lead in it to meet our standards."