Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's your bailout!

Publicist Howard Bragman confirmed that TV icon Ed McMahon and his wife have no plans to move from their home, which has been facing foreclosure for nine months. Bragman said he doesn't have details about the deal that's allowing the 85-year-old McMahon to stay, but added: "They ain't leaving." Public records show there was a series of transfers of the loans last month on McMahon's house. A Southern California company, Foreclosure Trackers Inc., has taken credit for brokering the deal and say they plan to negotiate a better deal for McMahon. For months, several people, including Lee and Donald Trump, have pledged to help McMahon and save his house.

WP: Whew. Thank God. First the automakers, now Ed McMahon. I hope the gov't has a plan in place to help out the oil companies next, now that gas has gotten "cheap."

In a time of bleak financial news, Bragman expressed hope that the resolution to McMahon's situation served as a good omen. We hope every other American in trouble has the same experience," he said.

WP: Yes, Bragman (ironic name, eh?), I'm sure every other American will have the same experience with Donald Trump and mortgage companies. Thank you for your genuine concern. Now kindly take your legal fees and get the fuck outta my face.

Illinois Governor Arrested

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested on Tuesday on charges he brazenly conspired to sell or trade the U.S. Senate seat left vacant by President-elect Barack Obama to the highest bidder in what a federal prosecutor called a "corruption crime spree." Blagojevich also was charged with illegally threatening to withhold state assistance to Tribune Co., the owner of the Chicago Tribune, in the sale of Wrigley Field, according to a federal criminal complaint. In return for state assistance, Blagojevich allegedly wanted members of the paper's editorial board who had been critical of him fired. Federal investigators bugged the governor's campaign offices and placed a tap on his home phone and Chicago FBI chief Robert Grant said even seasoned investigators were "stunned" by what they heard on the tapes.

ISF: What's even more stunning is that 'do of his. And, really, isn't that the bigger crime?

(To read the whole story, click here.)

Automobile Industry Bailout

Democratic aides say Speaker Nancy Pelosi intends to seek legislation to provide relief to the battered auto industry, and wants it done in a post-election session of Congress likely to convene in the next few days. Pelosi is not expected to specify how large a bailout she wants. The aides who described her views Tuesday did so on condition of anonymity, saying they were not authorized to discuss it publicly. The speaker's decision comes a few days after General Motors warned it is rapidly running out of cash, and Ford announced its situation was only slightly better.

ISF: I'm sorry, but I CANNOT feel sorry for the automobile industry. They've been screwing over the American people for years and now they want protection from the government? For what? They haven't made any improvements to their automobiles' mileage. The Ford Model T got 25 miles per gallon in 1908. My 1993 GEO Metro got 40-45. My 2007 Chevrolet Aveo gets 27. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? They have the capability to produce more efficient cars...yet they don't. If they're looking for a bailout, why not stick their hands out to the Oil Companies who are obviously already paying them to be fuel inefficient?

Obama Widens Lead

Fifty-three percent of likely voters questioned in the poll say they are backing Obama for president, with 45 percent supporting McCain. President George Bush may be part of the reason why Obama's making gains. Only 24 percent of those polled approve of Bush's job as president, an all-time low for a CNN survey.

ISF: What I want to know is...who are those 24 percent who think everything's just peachy in the U.S. right now!? Can I get a prescription for whatever they're on?

You say DOWN, I say UP yours.

Consumer prices in August posted the first monthly decline in nearly two years as Americans finally get a break from surging energy prices. The Labor Department reported Tuesday that consumer prices edged down 0.1 percent last month, a significant improvement from a 1.1 percent price spike in June and a 0.8 percent rise in July. The cost of gasoline and other fuels have plunged, reflecting big drops in crude oil prices.

I SUFFER FOOLS: Really? Then someone please explain to me why I'm paying 30 CENTS MORE per gallon of gas than I was a week ago.

It's all about the Benjamins...and McCains and Obamas...

In a forum last week with the Rev. Rick Warren, McCain was asked to define the word "rich" and to give a figure. After promoting his tax policies, McCain said: "I think if you are just talking about income, how about $5 million?" The audience laughed, and he added: "But seriously, I don't think you can — I don't think seriously that — the point is that I'm trying to make here, seriously — and I'm sure that comment will be distorted — but the point is that we want to keep people's taxes low and increase revenues."

WP: Seriously?

Obama, asked the same question at the forum, said those making $250,000 and higher are in the top 3 to 4 percent and "doing well." Obama and his wife, Michelle, reported making $4.2 million in 2007.

WP: So...making over $4 million is what? And making under $50K is "sucking it?"

5...6...7...SEVEN HOUSES! AH AH AH AH AH!

Days after he cracked that being rich in the U.S. meant earning at least $5 million a year, Republican presidential candidate John McCain acknowledged that he wasn't sure how many houses he and his wealthy wife actually own. "I think — I'll have my staff get to you," McCain responded to a question posed by Politico, according to a story Thursday on the publication's Web site. "It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you." Later, the McCain campaign told Politico that McCain and his wife, Cindy, have at least four in three states, Arizona, California and Virginia. Newsweek recently estimated the two owned at least seven properties.

WP: You just lose track after the first four or five, don't you?

Startling News from the Department of Commerce

The Commerce Department said purchases at U.S. retailers declined 0.1% last month. Economists surveyed by MarketWatch expected sales to slip 0.3%. Excluding automobiles, sales rose 0.4% last month, the smallest gain since February. The median forecast was for a 0.5% increase. See Economic Report. The report was "disheartening" in that is showed just how short-lived the tax rebates were, said Stone & McCarthy Research Associates.

WP: Really? You mean that $600 didn't make everyone wealthy? Shocking.

What's wrong with THE KITE RUNNER?

Last year, the U.S. studio behind "The Kite Runner," based on the 2003 best-selling novel by U.S.-based Afghan author Khaled Hosseini, had to get its three young stars out of their homeland before the movie debut to protect them from a possible backlash. Why? They claim that it's because of the film's depiction of one boy's rape and other scenes of conflict between members of Pashtun and Hazara tribes.

WP: Tribes? What century are we in?

Ahmad Jaan Mahmoodzada, father of Ahmad Khan Mahmoodzada who plays Hassan, has said in media interviews that he was not informed about the rape scene until just before it was shot.

WP: Um...did anyone read the script before signing on? Or perhaps even the book?

Not surprisingly, now Afghanistan has banned the import and exhibition of "The Kite Runner," a film about the troubled friendship of two Afghan boys, on the grounds that it could incite violence.

WP: After seeing the film a couple of weeks ago, I have this observation: the rape scene and portrayal of these "tribes" have nothing to do with why Afghanistan would want to ban the book, film, etc. It has to do with FACTS being shown that over the past few decades, Afghanistan has rapidly declined economically, politically, and socially due to the Taliban takeover. And that, my friends, is why they don't want their peoples to see the film. They don't want to remind their people how fucked up they are because they've reverted to some backwards society out of the BC era.