No...it's not under here...

Edjumacation

Who are you voting for this year?

Following high school, Barack Obama moved to Los Angeles, where he studied at Occidental College for two years. He then transferred to Columbia University in New York City, where he majored in political science with a specialization in international relations. Obama graduated with a B.A. from Columbia in 1983. He entered Harvard Law School in late 1988. At the end of his first year, he was selected, based on his grades and a writing competition, as an editor of the Harvard Law Review. In February 1990, in his second year, he was elected president of the Law Review, a full-time volunteer position functioning as editor-in-chief and supervising the Law Review's staff of eighty editors. After graduating with a Juris Doctor (J.D.) magna cum laude from Harvard in 1991, he returned to Chicago.

Joe Biden attended the Archmere Academy in Claymont, where he was a standout wide receiver on the high school football team and played on the baseball team as well. He graduated in 1961 and then went on to attend the University of Delaware in Newark. He graduated with a Bachelor of Arts with a double major in history and political science in 1965. He went on to receive his Juris Doctor from Syracuse University College of Law in 1968 and he was admitted to the Delaware Bar in 1969.

John McCain attended Episcopal High School, a private preparatory boarding school in Alexandria. He excelled at wrestling and graduated in 1954. Following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather, McCain entered the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis. McCain came into conflict with higher-ranking personnel, he did not always obey the rules, and that contributed to a low class rank (894 of 899). He did well in academic subjects that interested him, such as literature and history, but studied only enough to pass subjects he struggled with, such as mathematics. McCain graduated in 1958.

Sarah Palin attended Wasilla High School in Wasilla, AK. In 1982, she enrolled at Hawaii Pacific College but left after her first semester. She transferred to North Idaho community college, where she spent two semesters as a general studies major. From there, she transferred to the University of Idaho for two semesters. During this time Palin won the Miss Wasilla Pageant, then finished third in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, at which she won a college scholarship and the "Miss Congeniality" award. After the pageants, Palin attended the Matanuska-Susitna community college in Alaska for one term. The next year she returned to the University of Idaho where she spent three semesters completing her Bachelor of Science degree in communications-journalism, graduating in 1987.

FIERCE!

Beyonce Knowles would like to be known by a bold new name. The R&B singer has christened herself "Sasha Fierce" for her new double album, "I Am ... Sasha Fierce," due in U.S. stores on November 18, and has released a lengthy justification for the comical moniker. "I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am," the former Destiny's Child frontwoman said in a statement.

ISF: Sigh... Would someone get this woman a psychotherapist? She has Multiple Personality Disorder.

More Buck for your Burrito

Chipotle Mexican Grill posted its first profit decline since going public in 2006 on Wednesday, as it battled higher ingredient costs and a slowing U.S. economy. The restaurant operator said sales were still positive but growth has slowed. The quarterly results from Denver-based Chipotle, a former Wall Street darling, comes amid worries financially stressed consumers will skip even more restaurant visits as they weather a housing slump, credit crisis and rising unemployment. "These tough economic times make it harder for customers to afford to eat out," Monty Moran, president, said during a conference call. "We know that some of our customers are forced to visit us a little less frequently than they were a year ago." Chipotle, known for serving premium-priced naturally raised meat, said third-quarter net income fell to $19.5 million, or 59 cents per share, from $20.6 million, or 62 cents per share, a year earlier. Chipotle said it plans to raise prices in the fourth quarter.

ISF: Yeah, that's interesting. You want to increase sales, yet you increase prices. Hey, Monty--don't you think people will be LESS inclined to dine at your restaurants if they see that they're not getting the value they're used to? Just a thought from someone who's NOT a company president, but understands the value of his dollar and would rather see it go towards something of more importance in HIS life than YOUR salary and bonus this year.

Cali-NO-fornication

David Duchovny has checked out of the facility where he was undergoing treatment for a sex addiction, according to the actor's lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein. "David is out of rehab and about to start a new movie," Stein said in a statement Monday. "He successfully completed his treatment."

ISF: What was he forced to do? Watch pornos of 500 lb women? "I'm cured! I no longer want sex!" screamed Duchovny upon his release.

Obama Widens Lead

Fifty-three percent of likely voters questioned in the poll say they are backing Obama for president, with 45 percent supporting McCain. President George Bush may be part of the reason why Obama's making gains. Only 24 percent of those polled approve of Bush's job as president, an all-time low for a CNN survey.

ISF: What I want to know is...who are those 24 percent who think everything's just peachy in the U.S. right now!? Can I get a prescription for whatever they're on?

What, Lassie? Timmy's Down the Well?

Stocks tumbled and credit markets remained tight Thursday after an unexpected rise in unemployment claims and a drop in factory orders underscored the troubles facing the economy even if lawmakers are able to sew together a financial rescue aimed at resuscitating the ailing credit markets.

ISF: Unexpected? Are they living in a fucking cave? Trapped in a well? HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?! Is anybody home?

Oprah's Mom

Oprah Winfrey's mother says she shouldn't have to pay a nearly $156,000 debt to a high-end fashion store because store officials shouldn't have extended credit to her. Valentina Inc. alleges that Vernita Lee of Milwaukee racked up $155,547 in purchases and interest as of July 1. The company sued, saying Lee fell behind in minimum monthly payments of $2,000. Lee filed a counterclaim Friday contending that Valentina took advantage of her "lack of knowledge, ability, and-or capacity" when creating her credit account. Court papers say Lee resolved a 2002 case with the company over a $175,000 bill. The resolution prohibited Valentina from extending further credit to her.

ISF: Hmmm...what's the word I'm looking for? Ah, yes...CUNT. C. U. N. T. Cunt.

Hey, Vernita! The rest of us have credit card bills, too, but we don't have daughters worth 1.5 billion dollars! What makes you so freakin' special?!? Stupid cunt. Maybe we can include Vernita's debt in the $700 billion bailout that the gov't is trying to pass? The rich are already going to be protected; why not include Oprah and her stupid mother in it, too?