The Grinch Who Stole Fall

This past October weekend, I made one of my usual visits to my local Starbucks to take a lunch break.  I was going to get a hot sandwich, a nice fall-oriented pastry, a tall hot beverage, and sit and read a book to relax.  Unfortunately, my "relaxing" lunch turned into one of utter disgust and terror.  I had shockingly been made aware that Starbucks was no longer offering ANY of their previous food options because they were now offering ONLY these new La Boulange products.  Excuse me?  There I stood, staring with a blank look upon my face as I gazed into the glass-covered case.  Absolutely NOTHING looked visually appealing.  Croissants?  Tiny cookies?  Cheap-looking glossy pastries?   And -- GASP! -- DONUTS?   I've seen better things pumped full of high fructose corn syrup in sealed boxes in my local grocery store.  Were my eyes deceiving me?  Nowhere did I see my favorite fall-time treat, the infamous pumpkin scone.  In fact, there weren't ANY scones.  There weren't any pumpkin cream cheese muffins.  There was no Outrageous Oatmeal Cookie.  There were no slices from delicious loaves of bread, pumpkin or otherwise.  It was as if the Grinch came two months too soon and took Fall away from me.  Then the shock really settled in:  With Christmas approaching, this meant there would be NO gingerbread, no Cranberry Bliss Bars, no peppermint brownies! 

There was basically nothing "substantial" or "hearty."  My lunch was ruined.  Not just my appetite, but also my admiration of Starbucks, both as a consumer and a stockholder.  I felt betrayed as a Gold Card carrying consumer.  Worse, I felt like Starbucks had made the biggest mistake with my investment.  

With little hope, I asked the cashier, "Do you not have the pumpkin scones anymore?"  No, she sadly replied, trying to be enthusiastic about the new products.  "We have donuts!  They're really good!"  Um, no.  I'll pass.  For anyone who doesn't know (apparently, that includes the Starbucks executives), donuts and Starbucks do NOT go together.  I'm at Starbucks, not Dunkin Donuts.  Not Krispy Kreme.  STARBUCKS.  Let's get that straight.  There's a different clientele.  And there's a reason for that.  The same goes for plain bagels.  If I wanted a bagel, I'd be at Einstein Bagels or Panera.  She then said they still have blueberry scones left if I'd like that.  I agreed, although it wasn't anywhere near what I had my mind (and stomach) set on.  I paid for my food and drink purchases and then she informed me that she was wrong and they didn't have any scones left.  AT ALL.  Probably because that was the only thing that looked remotely appetizing to anyone in the store.  She advised that I could pick out any item since I'd already paid.  Oh, goody!  Which disgusting looking thing should I shove into my mouth?  Previously LOVING the pumpkin cream cheese muffin that Starbucks previously carried (and that I previously enjoyed only two weeks prior), I opted for the La Boulange's generic, dry-looking pumpkin cream cheese loaf cake.  Visually, it was nowhere near as appealing as their previous muffin, but frankly I didn't have much choice.  Then I tasted it.  What's French for cardboard?  Was it pumpkin?  Was there cream cheese?  Who knew?  I think the paper bag it came in would have tasted the same. 

Now let's talk about "heating."  Apparently these new pastries from La Boulange must all be heated.  Is that to cover up the fact that they're flavorless?  Do they think that heating up cardboard makes it taste any better?  The old treats never needed to be heated and they tasted fantastic, fresh, and moist.  That's why I kept returning to Starbucks for them, either locally or out of town.  On vacation, I could always rely on Starbucks' consistent quality as a place for a tasty beverage, a delicious treat, or a hot "fast food" breakfast option when my only other choices would have been a McDonald's or Burger King.  Who wants to stand around and wait for their "treat" to be heated each and every time?  And, speaking for the Starbucks employees, who has time to heat EVERYTHING up when you have a line of 10 people out the door waiting to place their orders for drinks that are ten sentences long?   Ain't nobody got time for that...

Another thing I noticed about the new offerings is that there was nothing "shareable."  For me, Starbucks has always been a social gathering place.  It was a great place to spend some time with a friend where we could just sit, relax, and talk over hot drinks and a shared treat or two because of their built-in sharing size.  The new La Boulange offerings are NOT shareable.  They're small, bite-size, and don't lend themselves to that social capability.  "Hey--you want to split a mini loaf of bread that tastes like cardboard?   Or maybe a sugary glazed reheated donut?  Mmmm..."  At least with the former slices of bread that Starbucks used to offer, it didn't "feel" like they were previously frozen and thawed.  They looked and tasted like they were fresh from the oven.  They didn't need La Boulange's new "warming" technique to give them flavor and appeal.  That's just a cover-up for bland food.  

According to an article I read, Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz said that only a third of Starbucks' customers purchase food items.  I know he hopes that the removal of all Starbucks' past products and adding La Boulange will increase food sales, but I highly doubt it.  With the lack of appealing options, that number is going to drop, not increase, starting with me.  I will no longer EVER visit Starbucks to purchase food items until this mistake has been reversed.  When I go to Starbucks, it will be for drinks only from now on.  And by the look of other customers in the store I was just in and comments I've read online, I'm not the only one who feels this way.  Congratulations on a poor business decision, Mr. Schultz.  What were YOUR kickbacks in this whole deal?  Because obviously you did not do a taste test with any of the new food offerings.  You just saw dollar signs where there were none.  Did you not think your customers and stockholders would rebel?   Sign the petition at Change.org.

Dead Weight

I went to the post office to mail an oblong item that weighed 3 pounds.  It was something that I had sold on eBay for $20.  The postal clerk told me it would cost me $26 to mail it.  Are they fucking kidding?  Being that it's so freakin' lightweight, I asked why.  She said because of its size but lightweight, it's what's known as "dead weight."  I laughed.  The only thing dead weight around there was the post office itself.  No wonder the postal service is going into bankruptcy.  Who the fuck wants to mail something for less than the paid for the actual item itself!?  Especially when it's so freakin' light?!  Give me a break.  I'll either try to repackage it smaller or give the eBay buyer a refund.  What a rip-off.  Bye, bye, USPS!  

Abercrombie & Bitch

I ordered a couple of items from the Abercrombie & Fitch website.  According to the site, they didn't have everything I wanted in stock.  A particular pair of shorts I wanted wasn't offered in a size 32 waist, so I ordered a couple of others that were listed as available in size 32.  

After my purchase, I get an email confirmation from A&F letting me know that one pair of shorts would be shipped and the other was out of stock.  Three weeks later, I check the site again.  They have the shorts I originally wanted again listed in a size 32.  I email A&F about it and ask if they were going to fill the rest of my order now that the shorts were apparently back in stock.  

My response from their Customer Service department?  "Unfortunately, the website has not yet been updated with the information about this item being sold out."  

WTF?  Three weeks have passed and nobody's updated the website?  How lame is that?  Is the one person who has access to the site on vacation?

David Tyree is a Piece of Shit

Asked in a recent interview with an anti-gay group called the National Organization for Marriage about a same-sex marriage bill that recently passed the New York state assembly and awaits approval from state senators, Football Player David Tyree said that "this will be the beginning of our country's sliding towards, you know, it's a strong word, but 'anarchy.' The moment we have it, if you trace back even to other cultures, other countries, that will be the moment where our society and itself, loses its grip with what's right. Marriage is one of those things that is the backbone of society.  How can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now all the sudden because a minority, an influential minority, has a push or agenda ... and totally reshapes something that was not founded in our country," Tyree continued. "You can't teach something that you don't have, so two men will never be able to show a woman how to be a woman."

Hey, Tyree:  FUCK YOU. You're a piece of shit.  SHIT.  There was a time when black people marrying white people was considered wrong and possibly illegal.  How would you feel about that being true today?  Does that bring "anarchy" as well?   Weren't blacks once considered that "minority" of which you speak?  Why don't we go back to the days of slavery and see you take a stand then?  I bet you'd have a totally different opinion about the civil rights and liberties of others, you piece of shit.  I can't wait until it comes out about you cheating on your wife and we get to see how sacred the vow of marriage really is to you.  Piece of shit.

From Wikipedia:

Tyree grew up in a one-bedroom house with his mother and two older sisters after his parents divorced.  Battled with crack and alcohol addiction from an early age, and in 2004 was arrested for drug possession.  Then-girlfriend Leilah became pregnant with their *second* child.

Wow.  Where do I begin?  Raised by a single mother so, according to his beliefs, he wasn't raised as a man.  Alcohol.  Drugs.  Arrested.  Sex before marriage.  Babies out of wedlock.  Great Christian values!

Fed-Up

This morning, at 9:00 a.m., I shipped out an envelope via Fed-Ex overnight service, to arrive sometime during business hours (before 5 p.m.) the next day.  It contained two single sheets of paper.  I was charged $34.   I sincerely the envelope gets to travel First Class, get free drinks, and receive more than just peanuts as a snack.  

I could have shipped my suitcase for cheaper.  Seriously.  WTF?  And delivery services wonder why people aren't using them as much.  It's not because of technology; it's because of their insane pricing. 

Travelocity: Bait and Switch

This morning I opened up my email inbox to find an email from Travelocity that read:

"As one of our valued customers, we’d like to extend you an exclusive offer so that you can save even more on your next trip: GET AN ADDITIONAL 10% OFF our already discounted rates on your next hotel or vacation package booking. Simply use the exclusive promo code on the right at check-out to receive your instant savings."

I was excited to get this, as I was already thinking about using Travelocity to book a vacation package.  I went through the entire process of choosing my flights, picking the seats, choosing the hotel, upgrading the room at an additional cost, added the discount code in the email, and finally entered my credit card for payment.  I then hit the submit button and received an error message that read, "The promo code you entered is valid for use by Travelocity VIPs only. If you have not been designated a Travelocity VIP, you will not be eligible to receive the discount."

I contacted Travelocity about this and received a response a couple of hours later that read, "We would like to inform you that the promo code is valid for all Travelocity VIP customers. Per our record we see that your profile is not listed below VIP list." 

Nice.  What's that about?  They sent me a code to use and then tell me I can't because I'm not on their special fucking list?  Because I don't belong to their special club?  How elitist and ridiculous is that?  I've always used and preferred Travelocity over other travel sites, but now I'm done.  Someone else can have my $1000 for my upcoming weekend trip (and any future ones).  Fuck Travelocity.

BP Still Sucks

Because I'm a BP gas cardholder (prior to the infamous Gulf of Mexico oil spill), I received an offer in the mail at the beginning of January labeled "Exclusive Offer for BP Cardmembers." The offer is for a $10 rebate when you fill up your gas tank five times in the next two months. And, because I'm a BP cardmember, they gave me my first code free, so I only have to fill up my gas tank four times to get the rebate.

I don't normally fill up my gas tank at BP, even though it is on my drive home. For one thing, because of my anger over the Gulf oil spill, but I've gotten over that for the most part. Primarily, though, it's a few cents more per gallon than the Shell or Marathon (formerly Texaco) stations on my drive home from work. When BP was hurting for customers, you'd think they would have lowered their prices to compete with neighboring rivals, but no.

Even though the pricing is a bit higher per gallon, I stopped by a BP to fill up my tank because with the $10 rebate check I was promised I'd be getting, I'd make out better in the long run. I filled up my tank, using my BP card at the "pay at the pump" option. I can't recall the last time I actually went INTO a gas station store. I prefer to do everything at the pump so I don't have to leave my car and/or stand in line inside behind people buying their cigarettes, tonight's dinner, lottery cards, etc.

I didn't see any "code" on my receipt so I contacted BP via email to see what I had to do. In their response, they told me that after purchasing my gas at the pump, I had to take my receipt INSIDE, hand it to the cashier, and, in return, I would get a code. Now, I ask you: what sort of cardmember benefit is that? I get to pay at the pump AND go inside, doubling my time spent at the gas station? Where's the logic?

For the extra time and aggravation it would take for me to do all that, BP can keep the $10. You can find me pumping my gas at Shell. (I'd go to Marathon, too, but their pumps don't accept the Marathon gas card; I'd have to go inside there, too, to use my Marathon card. Go figure.)

Why Won't "Live Like We're Dying" Die?

Am I the only person who is tired of hearing American Idol's Kris Allen's "Live Like We're Dying" on the radio? When did that song come out? Two years ago? And it's still getting regular airplay? I swear, every time I turn on the radio, that damn song is on. They're only playing and replaying it because he hasn't had another "hit." Am I right? I already feel like I'm dying just listening to it ad nauseum. Please stop the merry-go-round; I want to get off.

Gap -- It's What's for Breakfast!

I was recently shopping in a Gap Outlet store in Orlando. I was walking through the men's section, checking out the clothing. That's when I noticed a woman plopped down on a men's sweatshirt display breastfeeding her baby. Mind you, the men's section takes up about 25% of the store. The rest is women's. Was the breastfeeding section in the women's section too full already? Or was she shopping for a babydaddy? Perhaps she'd be better off in a regular Gap store with higher-priced merchandise for that. Nevertheless, I hope they keep abreast of the situation.

Broken Halo

I was visiting PetSmart yesterday looking for some natural/organic foods for our cats and dog. I was reading all the contents of the various brands of moist canned food. Like the voice of God, Ellen Degeneres starting speaking from the PA system. It was a humorous advertisement for Halo brand pet food, of which she's a co-owner. It then dawned on me that I've never seen Halo carried in PetSmart stores. Yet this broadcast commercial was meant for PetSmart customers to purchase Halo products in the store today.

When I got back home, I searched PetSmart's website for Halo products. Sure enough, there weren't any. I sent an email inquiry to both Halo and PetSmart.

Halo responded first, explaining that Halo products are sold in Canadian PetSmarts, so that was probably why, even though I'm probably about 1000 miles away from the nearest Canadian store.

PetSmart responded later and thanked me in about four or five different ways for writing to them, but never once answered my question:

"Thank you for contacting PetSmart. I appreciate the time you've taken to share your comments about our loudspeaker announcement. We value any feedback that you can provide as it helps us to understand how our guests feel and gives us an excellent opportunity for self-evaluation. Your comments are definitely welcome and they are taken very seriously. I have taken the liberty of forwarding your feedback to the appropriate parties for review. We continue to be committed to providing you and all of our guests with the highest standards of service in this industry. Guests such as yourself are truly important to us, and deserve the best of what we have to offer. If there is anything else we can assist with, please feel free to call the number listed below or just respond to this email. Thank you again for contacting PetSmart. We value your business and look forward to serving you in the future!"

Do you see an actual reply to my inquiry in there? No? Me neither. Maybe it's hidden between all the B.S.

Who's the genius in the PetSmart marketing department who okayed an ad for a product they don't even sell? It all sounds pretty PetDumb to me.

Charlotte Local News Story - WSOC-TV

This morning on WSOC-TV Channel 9 news in Charlotte, NC, I caught the tail-end of a story about something happening overnight at the Student Union at UNC Charlotte. It was either a fire or a gas leak or something. There were fire trucks shown parking outside the Union in the segment that I missed.

Since I missed the entire story, but wanted to hear what happened, I went to the www.wsoctv.com website to hopefully read an accompanying article. However, there wasn't one.

I sent an email inquiry to the station, asking why there wasn't an article, because I felt there should be some consistency in their stories.

My response from Robin Whitmeyer, News Director was:

Our website (wsoctv.com) is not, nor will it be, a direct copy of every news item that we broadcast on television. We have to make editorial decisions on what the "web user" needs and not every news item will be posted. Since there were no injuries or health issues involved, this was not viewed as an item to be posted. Every day the editorial judgments are different- based on weather, news and traffic items.

Ouch. It sounds like Ms. Whitmeyer needs some customer service training. What crawled up her ass? Nor will it ever be? An interested viewer contacts the station looking for information about a news story that was broadcast and that's the kind of response one gets? If the "story" was important enough to warrant a broadcast on the morning news, including film footage, wouldn't it be important enough to put on the website, too? Obviously not.

This "web user's" needs were not met, so I guess there's no need for me to even visit the site unless I'm looking for information about an injury or death. For your information, Ms. Whitmeyer, there are other news stories of equal value and importance.

UPDATE: Thankfully, News Channel 14 was happy to post information about the incident on their website.

A Lukewarm Reception

I wrote an email to Sprint asking them why my densely populated neighborhood in a major US city only came up with "fair" reception on their grid, meaning my cell phone might work outdoors, but most likely wouldn't work indoors at all.

I got an email response back quickly. They apologized for the "fair" reception and, as a token of their concern, added an additional 60 minutes every month onto my plan. Great! So I can not use these 60 minutes from home just like the other 700.

Phil Spector, Guilty of Murder!

Phil Spector, the legendary record producer, eccentric and recluse with a reputation for building walls around people as much as his signature music, was found guilty of second-degree murder by Los Angeles jurors today in the 2003 shooting death of cult-movie star Lana Clarkson.

ISF: I think the REAL crime here is that hairdon't.

Madonna and No-Child

Madonna will not be allowed to adopt a second child from Malawi, a 4-year-old girl named Mercy James, the African country's High Court ruled on Friday. The ruling will please campaigners who say authorities have given the singer special treatment. Malawi's government, which came under fire after Madonna adopted a 13-month-old Malawian boy, had said on Thursday it would support a second adoption. Court registrar Ken Manda told reporters Madonna's bid to adopt Mercy had been rejected because the star was not a resident of Malawi.

An AIDS epidemic in the impoverished southern African country has orphaned more than one million children. In her ruling, Judge Esimie Chombo warned against celebrity adoptions, saying they could lead to child trafficking. "Anyone could come to Malawi and quickly arrange for an adoption that might have grave consequences on the very children that the law seeks to protect," she said.

Prominent rights activist Mavuto Bamusi defined said the decision was a "defining moment for child protection" but urged the pop star to continue her charity work. "We finally appeal to Madonna to take this positively and continue to help the children of this country," he told Reuters.

ISF: Uh huh. Ask the kid about her "defining moment" twenty years from now when she has a starving kid hanging off each tit and eating what resembles shit from a clay bowl.

"We finally appeal to Madonna to take this positively and continue to help the children of this country." We hate you, but please keep sending money!

Fly the Friendly Skies. Or not. Whatever. We don't care.

I received an email today from United's E-Fares:
"Thank you for having subscribed to our E-Fares emails. These weekly emails are being discontinued, and this is the last issue that you will receive. E-Fares will continue to be available on united.com Tuesday through Friday of each week. To see these fares, you can select the E-Fares link in the News & Deals section of the United.com home page or on the Special Deals page, whenever E-Fares are available. You can also use the united.com booking tool and look for fares marked with a blue star and the label " E-Fares." We hope that you will continue to enjoy available discounted fares each week through united.com."

In other words:
"We feel confident enough in this economy to not have to use free email marketing to advertise our fares. If you want to know what they are, you can go out of your way to check our website, so we don't have to provide this service for you. In other words, please market United to yourself. For us. Thanks!"

Drop it like it's Brown!

Wrigley says it's suspending ad campaigns featuring Chris Brown as its spokesman for Doublemint gum. The company stopped short of saying they will drop the troubled R&B star completely. A company statement expresses concern about what it calls "serious allegations made against Chris Brown." He was arrested Sunday night for an alleged battery on a woman, and canceled his Grammy performance. Wrigley said it would suspend any current advertising or any related marketing until the situation is resolved, adding that the 19-year-old should be "afforded the same due process as any citizen."

ISF: Oh, come ON. It's not like he was smoking pot or anything at a party. He just beat up a girl! Give the guy a break...

Friday Morning Headlines

Two headlines on Friday morning:

(1) Economy shrinks at 3.8 percent pace in 4Q (AP) - The economy shrank at a 3.8 percent pace at the end of 2008, the worst showing in a quarter-century, as the deepening recession forced consumers and businesses to throttle back spending.

(2) Exxon Mobil sets record with $45.2 billion profit (AP)


ISF: Huh. Am I the only one who sees anything wrong with this picture?

Exhaustion

What the fuck is up with Celebrity Exhaustion (CE)? It seems like every other week there's some new celebrity or pseudo-celebrity who suffers from "exhaustion" and must be hospitalized. The latest being Lindsay Lohan's girltoy, Samantha Ronson, DJ-extraordinaire. What's really exhausted is their illegal drug supply. Do they think the American people are that stupid? Oh, wait...they did vote (allegedly) for George W. Bush. Twice. Now I'm exhausted. Medic!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's your bailout!

Publicist Howard Bragman confirmed that TV icon Ed McMahon and his wife have no plans to move from their home, which has been facing foreclosure for nine months. Bragman said he doesn't have details about the deal that's allowing the 85-year-old McMahon to stay, but added: "They ain't leaving." Public records show there was a series of transfers of the loans last month on McMahon's house. A Southern California company, Foreclosure Trackers Inc., has taken credit for brokering the deal and say they plan to negotiate a better deal for McMahon. For months, several people, including Lee and Donald Trump, have pledged to help McMahon and save his house.

WP: Whew. Thank God. First the automakers, now Ed McMahon. I hope the gov't has a plan in place to help out the oil companies next, now that gas has gotten "cheap."

In a time of bleak financial news, Bragman expressed hope that the resolution to McMahon's situation served as a good omen. We hope every other American in trouble has the same experience," he said.

WP: Yes, Bragman (ironic name, eh?), I'm sure every other American will have the same experience with Donald Trump and mortgage companies. Thank you for your genuine concern. Now kindly take your legal fees and get the fuck outta my face.

Worst. Opening. Ever.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/delgo-worst-opening-ever.html

Umm...here's why the film did poorly, people: nobody had ever heard about it or seen anything about it! I saw Madagascar 2 and Bolt in the past couple of months. Neither featured a preview of this Delgo. There was no buzz about it online. There was nothing about it in Entertainment Weekly. I was flipping through a magazine a couple of weeks ago at the doctor's office, saw an ad for the movie, and thought, "What's that? I've never even heard of it." Then Monday comes around and I see that the movie opened this past weekend. It looks like crap anyway from the movie poster, but a little promotion (and previewing) of the stupid movie might have helped it. A little .