Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Paris on "Jail"

"Paris' attitude is, 'I'm going to come in here, I'm going to do my time, get it over with, and I'm going to show the world who I really am,'" her spokesperson said.

And for those of you who haven't seen who Paris really is, you too can purchase copies of One Night In Paris for $19.95 plus shipping and handling.

The Paris Update

Paris Hilton was doing well after spending her first night of her probation sentence in solitary confinement at a Los Angeles County jail, her lawyer said Monday.

Whew. What a relief! I hope the news continues to report on her every single fucking day. And as long as they do, I'll keep you abreast (tiny, of course) as well.

"She's using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better and hopefully, in my opinion, to change the attitudes that exist about her among many people," attorney Richard A. Hutton told reporters after visiting Hilton.

Make the world a better place? Like stop wars and world hunger? She sounds like a Miss America in the making! I highly doubt anything she does will change my opinion of her, though. To me, she'll always be a clueless, greedy, slutty, rich cunt.

Italy Gives Tarantino the Boot

The Italian cinema industry is up in arms after recent comments from director Quentin Tarantino, who called the current state of the film industry "depressing." Italian newspapers on Monday and over the weekend were full of reaction to the American director's comments, which came less than a month after it was revealed that he would co-present a series of Spaghetti Westerns in a special sidebar at this year's Venice Film Festival. Tarantino is known to be a fan of old Italian films, but according to his recent comments published in Sorrisi & Canzioni -- the country's leading television magazine -- his love for the country's film productions does not extend to more contemporary cuts. "New Italian cinema is just depressing," Tarantino said. "Recent films I've seen are all the same. They talk about boys growing up, or girls growing up, or couples having a crisis, or vacations of the mentally impaired."

Hehehe...where are all these films about the mentally impaired taking vacations!? "What's Eating Gilbert Grape 2: Arnie Takes a Vacation?" "The Other Sister 2: The Honeymoon?" "Riding the Bus (Again) With My Sister?" "I Am Still Sam, Who the Fuck Are You?"

Those defending modern Italian cinema included some of the best-known names in the game. "How dare he talk about Italian cinema when he doesn't know anything about American cinema?" asked Naples-born Sophia Loren, according to media reports. "Tarantino is a brute," said filmmaker/actor Marco Bellocchio, a five-time Palme d'Or nominee at the Cannes Film Festival and a member of this year's Cannes jury.

"You, you, you....you BRUTE!" (concludes with a slap in the face)

Even editorial writers got in on the counterattack, with the left-wing daily L'Unita saying Tarantino was "mentally impaired."

There ya go. Good playground response. I know you are, but what am I?

The center-left daily La Repubblica, Italy's second-largest newspaper, said that if Italian film isn't what it used to be, neither was Tarantino.

But really...are any of us who we used to be?

Monday, June 4, 2007

Mike Tyson wants to try acting in Bollywood movies.


Um...I don't think anything else really needs to be said, except...I know cows are sacred in India...but what about ears?

Your "other" left...

Just hours after strolling the pink carpet at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards, Paris Hilton reported for jail late Sunday night, two days before the court-ordered deadline. Hilton will be calling Lynwood's Century Regional Detention Facility home for the next 23 days—assuming she behaves herself—where she will be paying the piper for driving with a suspended license while on probation for a drunken driving charge. Hilton originally surrendered at Men's Central Jail and was then transported to the Lynwood facility.

Um...yeah...the women's prison, Paris. You're not joining a brothel. Dumb 'til the very end...

Now that they've removed the "planet" status of Pluto...

Astronomers have discovered 28 new planets outside of our solar system, increasing to 236 the number of known exoplanets, revealing that planets can exist around a broad spectrum of stellar types-from tiny, dim stars to giants. "We added 12 percent to the total in the last year, and we're very proud of that," said one of the study team members Jason Wright of the University of California at Berkeley. "This provides new planetary systems so that we can study their properties as an ensemble." The planets are among 37 new objects spotted within the past year. Seven of the objects are failed stars called brown dwarfs, with masses that dwarf the largest, Jupiter-sized planets but too small to sustain the nuclear reactions necessary for stellar ignition.

Astronomers don't directly spot extrasolar planets, but rather look for stellar wobbles caused by orbiting planets. The planet's size and distance from the parent star affect how strong or weak of a wobble, and more sophisticated techniques for measuring the stellar wobbles has led to an ever-lengthening list of such outer planets. Now they can detect wobbles of a meter per second compared with the 10-meter limit just 15 years ago.

Is a wobble like a weeble? Do they fall down? Cuz weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.

In all seriousness...

Actress Lindsay Lohan has returned to rehab after a weekend drunken-driving arrest, her publicist said on Tuesday, raising questions about whether she can start shooting her latest film as planned. Official word that Lohan was back in treatment came hours after entertainment trade paper Daily Variety said she had just joined the cast of "Poor Things," a comedy starring Oscar winner Shirley MacLaine and set to begin filming this week in Los Angeles. "Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation," the publicist's statement said.

Yes, we're very saddened and understand the severity of this...mmmph...mmmph...mmmph...BWAHAHAHAHA!!!