Pacman

Adam Jones, the suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback who has been known by "Pacman" would like to make his nickname a thing of the past.

WP: I hear "Donkey Kong" may be available...

Daddy Warbucks

For every one opening at Harvard's undergraduate college, there were 14 hopeful high school applicants. Despite the daunting odds, there's good reason to try to win one of those coveted acceptance letters. Harvard is consistently ranked as one of the top schools in the country. Its $35 billion endowment makes it the best-funded college in the United States. Oh, and there's this: Harvard students are more likely to become billionaires than graduates of any other college.

WP: Yeah...that might be more impressive if they didn't already start out rich, thanks to Daddy.

Why buy Japanese when Americans don't know what the fuck they're doing?

General Motors Corp on Tuesday announced a series of steps to cut jobs, costs and its exposure to slow-selling trucks and SUVs in response to a rise in gasoline prices that the automaker now sees as permanent. Chief Executive Rick Wagoner, speaking to reporters after a restructuring plan was approved by the automaker's board, said GM would close four North American truck plants and add shifts at two plants making more popular car models.
In addition, Wagoner said GM was reviewing the Hummer brand and could sell the military-derived SUV brand, which has become synonymous for gas-guzzling excess. "U.S. economic and market conditions have become significantly more difficult," Wagoner said, adding higher gasoline prices have caused consumers to swap out of trucks and SUVs faster than the automaker had expected.

In a related shift, Wagoner also said GM's board had approved funding for a next-generation compact model for the Chevrolet brand as well as a new subcompact Chevy Aveo, expected to go on sale in the U.S. market in 2010. GM's board also allocated production funding to the Chevy Volt, a heavily touted, all-electric vehicle that GM expects to have in showrooms by 2010, Wagoner said. Wagoner said GM, which has lost a combined $51 billion over the past three years, was not ready to detail a timeline for returning to profitability. Unfortunately, it's just a sign that once again they're behind the curve," said Peter Jankovskis, a chief investment officer with OakBrook Investments, which owns GM shares in some of its portfolios.

WP: Really? Ya think? So when gas prices started to dramatically rise THREE YEARS AGO, nobody thought to look ahead? How about with the 1970s oil shortage? 30-40 years not enough lead time either?

Exxxxxxxxxxxxcellent...

The standoff between "The Simpsons" voice cast and series producer 20th Century Fox TV is over. After months of negotiations, the cast of Fox's long-running animated series reached a new four-year deal with the studio during the weekend. Under the pact, the top actors will be paid nearly $400,000 per episode. While this is lower than the reported $500,000 the cast originally sought, it remains a significant increase from their current paychecks of about $300,000 an episode. (By contrast, Charlie Sheen is the highest-paid sitcom star, reportedly earning $350,000 per episode in 2006.)

WP: What a relief! I was worried they might actually have to go out and get real jobs instead of coming to work in their jammies and sitting in a soundproof room for a couple of hours.

Crack is wack!

Tatum O'Neal has told a newspaper that she was distraught over the loss of her dog when she went looking to buy drugs from a Manhattan street dealer last weekend. Officers who searched her allegedly found a bag of crack cocaine, a bag of regular cocaine and a crack pipe in her possession.

WP: You know, surprisingly, many people can cope with the loss of their pet without the aid of a crack pipe.

SEX interview

When interviewed, Anthony Smith initially said he was "dragged" to the theater to see "Sex and the City" by his date, 21-year-old Pamela David. She quickly reprimanded him: "That's not true. You wanted to see it. Don't lie."

Smith, 38, then happily let down his guard and confessed he had seen almost every episode. "I'm totally into it and I'm straight," said Smith. "You understand women better watching `Sex and the City.'"

WP: Yeah? How's that working for ya, Smith? Did you learn a lot about dating a 21-year-old (who's young enough to be your daughter) by watching a bunch of 40-somethings up on the big screen? Dumb fuck.