Feets of Clay

Singer Clay Aiken apparently got into a dispute with a woman during a flight to Tulsa, drawing some scrutiny from FBI agents but no charges, a newspaper reported. The 2003 "American Idol" runner-up was on the Saturday morning Continental Airlines flight for a evening show, and concertgoers said afterward that Aiken joked on-stage about being beaten up by a girl earlier in the day. FBI Special Agent Gary Johnson told the Tulsa World there was a dispute between a male passenger and a woman on the flight. He said the man was a former "American Idol" contestant but did not give his name. Johnson said the dispute was over the male passenger's foot resting on the woman's armrest. He said there was an allegation the woman gave the male passenger a "minor shove" during the argument.

Hmm...where to begin...where to begin? Let's start with this: the FBI had to be called in? What the fuck? Slow day at the office? No terrorists to catch? Second: Was Clay flying in coach? If not (and he probably wasn't), aren't the first class seats big enough for you, Clay? Remember: you're not big fat Ruben (even though he won). Third: Not his arm, but his foot? Again: what the fuck? Note to Clay: you're an in-the-closet skanky North Carolina freak. Get over yourself.